


You Always Let Me Down So Tenderly

by the_technicolor_whiscash



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst, Confessions of love, Hugging, Kissing, M/M, getting over that whole apocalypse thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-22
Updated: 2019-06-22
Packaged: 2020-05-16 16:05:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19321522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_technicolor_whiscash/pseuds/the_technicolor_whiscash
Summary: After the apocalypse doesn't happen, Aziraphale agrees to stay at Crowley's flat for the night. Crowley finds himself nervous, as he realizes just how close he had come to losing his best friend.





	You Always Let Me Down So Tenderly

**Author's Note:**

> yes this is titled after another bastille lyric. yes i will keep titling my fics after bastille lyrics. bastille slaps.   
> this one comes from Bad Decisions off of the Doom Days album and you can guess why I used it

Crowley wasn’t the type to be nervous. Sure, he could be jittery, even unsettled at times. But he wasn’t typically nervous. The only time in which he ever truly felt nervous was when he was around Aziraphale. It wasn’t that he was intimidated by the angel. The thing was, he didn’t want to lose the only important relationship he had in his life. Crowley loved Aziraphale, much to his own chagrin. And that was what made Crowley nervous. 

Crowley’s hands shook as he pulled out his keys. The apocalypse had been thwarted, that was all well and good, but not without sacrifices. The Bentley had been lost, and he had barely had any time to mourn before things started happening. But Aziraphale had lost his bookshop, his home, everything he owned. All the poor angel had left were the clothes on his back. So Crowley had offered to let Aziraphale spend the night at his place, and Aziraphale had accepted. 

After one too many failed attempts at sticking the keys into the slot, Crowley unlocked the door with a wave of his hand. As he threw open the door, he felt Aziraphale’s hand on his shoulder. 

“Are you alright, my dear?” Aziraphale asked, his voice soft. 

Crowley did his best to smile, though he knew it looked fake. “I’m fine. Totally, perfectly fine.” 

“If you say so.” Aziraphale gave Crowley’s shoulder a light, nearly-imperceptible squeeze before removing his hand. Crowley immediately mourned the loss of contact. 

Once inside, Crowley left his keys on a peg beside the door. It looked like the Bentley’s key had returned to its spot, even though Crowley could have sworn he left it in the car’s ignition. He led Aziraphale through the apartment into the sparsely decorated dining room, which connected to the kitchen. 

“Make yourself at home.” Crowley said. “There’s something I have to check.”

He opened the door to his office space, expecting to see a pile of burnt demon goo mixed with holy water. But instead, there was nothing. No trace of the fact he had murdered Ligur. Opening up his vault, he found his thermos of holy water fully intact, like it had never happened. 

“That’s odd.” He muttered to himself, as he took off his glasses and placed them on his desk. 

He hadn’t even heard the angel’s footsteps behind him. “What is?”

“There’s no… Ligur goo, and my holy water’s back.”

“I have a sneaking suspicion Adam might have reset certain things. That must’ve been something he fixed.”

“Huh. Well, saves me some cleanup.” 

“I don’t think I’ve ever been into this room. It’s interesting.”

That was the idea. It was the room Crowley liked to get all forms of moping, lamenting, and monologuing done in. Of course, he wasn’t about to admit that. “It’s my office, in a way.”

Aziraphale examined the sketch hanging on the wall, the one piece of decor in the room. “I didn’t know Leonardo gave you one of these. It’s a lovely piece.”

“Yeah, I like it.” They fell into a silence that made Crowley anxious, so he said, “I don’t have a guest room, but I can take the couch.”

“There’s no need. I haven’t quite gotten the hang of sleeping as you have. Though I think we should discuss Agnes’s prophecy.”

“Right. Yes. That.” Crowley wasn’t much in a mood to discuss prophecy. He was still distracted by the day’s events, and the fact that the angel was currently standing in his apartment. He never felt like this in the bookshop. 

This hadn’t gone without Aziraphale noticing. “We’ve been through quite a lot today, haven’t we? I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget you riding up in your flaming car.”

“You’re telling me.” Crowley gave a slightly pained laugh. “I wasn’t sure if it was even going to make it to the air base. Wonder if Adam fixed it up for me. You know, I didn’t even think to check.”

“Hopefully. Hopefully he fixed the bookshop too. I don’t know what I’ll do if he hasn’t.” 

“You can always stay with me, if you’d like. I know it’s not the same, and you’d have to deal with me all the time. But my place is always open for you.”

“I… Thank you. But I was thinking I might like to have a change of pace. Spend some time in Tadfield, or maybe the coast. Take a break from it all.”

Crowley felt as though he had been punched in the chest. “Without me?”

“I just know you like to do your own thing, is all. Plus, we’ve seen so much of each other these last eleven years, I’d expect you’d want a break.”

“No.” The word spilled out of his mouth faster than he had wanted it to. It took all of his willpower not to say what was truly behind it. “Angel, I like seeing you. I like being around you. Earlier today, when I thought… when I thought I had lost you, it nearly destroyed me. I... “ He paused, worrying he had said too much. 

“You what, my dear?”

Crowley wrapped his arms around the angel, burying his nose into Aziraphale’s hair. For a moment, he just stood there, breathing in Aziraphale’s scent and holding on for dear life. Finally, he spoke. “I need you. I can’t even begin to think of a life in which you’re not there.” Crowley’s voice cracked as he failed to fight back tears. 

“Oh, Crowley.” He could feel the angel’s hands rubbing circles along his back. “I’m here. I’m here for you. I didn’t realize.”

“I don’t want to lose you, Aziraphale. I can’t.”

“You’re not going to lose me. I promise you.” Aziraphale pulled away just enough to wipe the tears from Crowley’s face, revealing that he had been crying too. 

Crowley pressed his forehead to Aziraphale’s. “I love you. And I know- I understand if you’re not ready, but I just… I just wanted you to know.”

“I know, my dear. I’ve always known.” Aziraphale cupped Crowley’s face in his palm. Quieter than a whisper, Aziraphale said, “Kiss me.”

Slowly, Crowley leaned in, ghosting his lips against Aziraphale’s. He was nervous, nervous that the angel would move away, that he would push Crowley away and leave and never come back. He almost didn’t believe it when Aziraphale kissed back, or when he felt the angel grab hold of the front of his shirt, pulling him closer. 

“Angel.” Crowley said reverently. “Are you sure?”

“You said it yourself, there are no sides anymore. I’m tired of lying, tired of pretending. I’m tired of trying to impress people who don’t care.” Aziraphale kissed Crowley’s cheek. “I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life.”

Crowley kissed him again, much more passionately this time. It was a kiss with six thousand years of longing behind it, and Crowley was damned if he wasn’t going to make the most of it. He bit down lightly on Aziraphale’s lower lip, causing the angel to release a satisfied moan. Crowley felt hands on his shoulders, pushing him backwards into his elaborate chair. Without breaking the kiss, Aziraphale sat on his lap, running his hands through Crowley’s hair. 

“I wish we could do that all day.” Crowley muttered breathlessly. “Can we do that all day?”

“At some point, we’re going to have to talk about Agnes’s final prophecy, and what it means.” Aziraphale smiled at Crowley’s frown. “Though it can probably wait until the morning.”

“Good, because I’m not sure if I could focus on anything other than you right now.” Kissing the angel again, Crowley felt as though the whole apocalypse business might have been worth it just for that moment. “Not like that’s a problem.”

**Author's Note:**

> they're just so in love and it makes me emotional


End file.
